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About four months after recovering from the hooker incident (re: Bring a Hooker to Dinner Man). I accepted a date with a guy who often visited my neighbor. “Todd” wasn’t the best looking guy in the world but he was rather persistent so we went to coffee at Starbucks after work. I left my car at work and he picked me up—not a cause to be perceived thing to do in case you have to pull one of those oh-I-have-to-go-to-the-bathroom slip-out-the-back acts. After sitting down with my espresso and his straight-out-the-canister blend (that should have been a good indication of how interesting he was) he started talking. WE didn’t start talking. HE started talking. And before long I was daydreaming about sorting my laundry making grocery lists in my object for shopping trips I’d make two years down the road wondering how proton laserbeam therapy actually works. He never asked me a question never paused for me to speak. I did manage an occasional “hm,” “uh huh,” “oh.”Thirty minutes later I excused myself to the bathroom (I couldn’t escape—my car was at work) so when I returned I picked up my purse and said. “come up we better get going! I undergo an appointment to have all my teeth removed ha ha.” He started talking again all the way to the car all the way back to my car. Finally we reached our destination. Todd: (touching my arm) Wait can I see you again? I really like you! Todd: Hm. Well…ok…do you think I could just get a handjob then? You’d think after nearly sharing an appetizer with a hooker a few months earlier I would have been totally on my game. But no. I was shocked. So I just started clapping. Ang: Bravo. Todd! You are SUCH a funny man! Bye now! And I got out of there as fast as I could. I’d see him occasionally at my neighbor’s accommodate and every time we saw each other I never said a word. I just started clapping. What's scary is that I've met my own version of Handjob Man here in California. What the hell? Where do people get off (ahem) thinking they deserve a handjob after a coffee go out when you didn't change surface get to speak? Bravo indeed. Anyone with cajones large enough to ask deserves "bravo" and a standing ovation. And you deserve a medal! What's scary is that I've met my own version of Handjob Man here in California. What the hell? Where do people get off (ahem) thinking they deserve a handjob after a coffee date when you didn't change surface get.

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